war and craziness

2003-02-12 @ 6:07 p.m.

all this talk of war everywhere! i cant take it, its really quite frightening. we had this diversity meeting the other day about we should become more "visibly diverse" which would mean having more physically disabled people and stuff and how our building is really not equipped for the handicapped (like how we have to swipe cards at every door and the doors are really heavy). But, our building along with damn near every other building in NY is like 50 stories high. So, with all this disaster talk going around, my question is, what if we did have a disaster? What if we couldn't take an elevator down 40 flights and had to walk down the stairs? How in the hell would a physically disabled person, who couldn't walk, get to safety?? I mean really? So then i started imagining that some noble strong man would carry the ones who couldn't walk down. But, really, in a time of crisis how many people are going to be thinking straight and of others like that? That just doesn't sit well with me. So then i start thinking as i twiddle (is that a word?) my thumbs in my meeting, they should have like one huge slide that would take you down safely. Right? Brilliant! If they could design it in a way that you wouldn't go so fast or something? Wierd huh? Every high-rise i would imagine would have this problem, and i wonder if anyone else has thought about this. I guess it speaks to the point that we aren't diverse not even architecturally. But it also speaks to my random thought processes at the oddest times like in meetings when my mind tends to drift.

Anyways i'm getting really freaked out thinking about this so i wanna talk about other things. how about office stuff? whats the proper etiquette when you are in an elevator with someone? i mean you work with the person on the other side of the floor but you don't ever really talk to them, you say hi when you pass in the hallway or you see them in the kitchen but what about that very lengthy awkward 40 flight elevator ride? its just you and this person. what can be said past the "hey (smile) its cold out there" then they say "yeah" then you both just kinda nod your heads and stand across from each other in silence (we have no elevator music and i think we would benefit from it cause then at least I would have a talking point) anyways you're in silence for the entire rest of the trip until you get off and walk in opposite directions with a nice " see ya later" or "have a good day" but its all just soooo wierd to me. and it reminds me of this Curb Your Enthusiasm (Larry David show) episode. He's a pretty funny guy, an asshole at times but just honest. and he spoke to my point and people take offense to it but he just hates small talk. he doesn't see the point because no one knows how to react to it if he begins it. and now that i am in the work environment i see his point. does anyone feel me???

Then it brought me back to two instances i was in an elevator. One time it was packed, and this girl had a walkman on and her music resonated very loudly in the tight space. So one quirky guy goes, " what is that michael jackson?" and starts singing "billy jean..." but no one got it. I did. And laughed, and said "sounds like it." And I think that relieved his embarassment but no one said a word. The girl who had the music didn't hear it cause her shiyt was so loud. Then when everyone was staring at her she thought he had said her music was too loud so she turned it off, apologized with a bright red face and got off on the next floor, probably wasn't even her floor. Such a lack of communication.

Then another time a woman who no one semmed to know just started chatting, but no one responded to her and she goes "Oh, I forgot I'm in NY, and I'm from CA where people actually talk to each other." what does that say!? that really says something about society. like that Robin Williams movie where he was a doctor who would dress as a clown (can't remember the movie)and in one scene he was showing someone how people seem standoffish and rude but if you just took the time to say hello and flash a smile, though its wierd at first, they actually get a kick outta it. but really, why is that so wierd or so abnormal? maybe if we did talk to our fellow stranger, or co-worker there would be no war? is that a stretch to assume? thats what they do in canada! i advies everyone to go see "Bowling for Columbine." A very insightful movie. Then you would get point about the stark difference between the US and Canada.

Ok so I realize i was rambling but I'm sorry, or rather I'm not, I mean this is what a "diary" (ugh such a wierd word) is for right?

I show you doubt, to prove that faith exists.

Robert Browning (1812 - 1889)

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