blaaaaaaahhh....

2006-08-26 @ 12:24 a.m.

it's been too long and the stream of consciousness coming from my mind that seems to be ruling right now is eager to find its ways to some sort of word - be it written or typed - the verbal just isn't cutting it.
i miss this place - miss the stories - miss the blank cybercanvas.

anyhow i am in a place where all i seem to feel is inadequacy - with my job, my self-confidence, my love, my life, abilities, just name it and i am probably feeling insufficient and all around self loathing. i have no reason to feel that way - even i will tell you that for the reality of the situation is i am blessed.

the place where my mind is at...its not a good place to be. considering the turn events since the last time i've been known to cruise the hwys of peoples innermost thoughts - what i didnt realize is that by avoiding other peoples thoughts i was in a way silencing my own. i didn't want to give them breath of life for fear of them taking control but now its much too overwhleming.

so much life altering shit has happened this year. not good not bad not change because that would imply a previous case of good or bad but instead a transofrmation if you will.

things have been for the most part quite great comparatively. see...even now i can't dig deeper beneath the surface. if i were to i fear an indefinite spew of word vomit without much sense attached - but why do i care what you think?

blaaaaaaaah.....

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