keepin it on the QT

2005-10-05 @ 11:43 p.m.

So every week i go to this brand new hotel that sponsors a party for MTV employees. It's a weekly "hump" day thing and now that the summer is over its my one night of inebriation for the week. So i go tonight, somewhat reluctantly as I am leaving or Spain on Saturday and don't really have my Sh*T togehter. BUt i go anyways.

So i go with absolutley no intention of getting intoxicated, i didn't even feel like having a drink especially since i've been on my healthy kick. But mad people came through that i haven't seen in a while so I was enticed to have a tleast 2 which was one more than I planned.
We all know that 2 drinks doesn't sway my sobriety but what you should know is that i made friends with the bartender since they started throwing this party.

The barteneder is this white dude with a bit of a rock/punk/hipster edge to him and would be considered such if it weren't for the GW Bridge thats tattoed on his wrist. It's actually kind of a cool tattoo until you find out that its not the Brooklyn Bridge but the GW Bridge. My friends ride him pretty hard on that but i still think hes cool peeps and we have some pretty dope conversations.

So aside from the 2 drinks that he serves me in monster glasses instead of the regular short glass hes supposed to serve them in - he gives me a couple more well after the one hour open bar is finished.

Now to set the scene a bit, I am with CZ and her crazy Long Island ass, her friend in which we will call ChareBhare and our friend PV. Keep in mind none of them work with me but CZ has bcome such a regular with me that she and whoever else we bring has been demmed MTV employees and benefti as such without a problem.

NOw, at this particular super mod/trendy hotel there happens to be a pool. The pools is eye level and happens to be placed in the lobby adjacent to the bar. So, not only can you order drinks while in the water, but the hotel guests waiting for the elevator can see you ordering drinks without even having to try.

So ChareBhare and PV get it in their head that they want to get in the pool. Let's keep in mind folks thhey have no swimwear. So they proceed to strip and jump into the pool. Now out of all 4 of these ladies i am probably the most sober, although not completely sober, and definitely the most responsible. I stand poolside with CZ as PV and ChareBhare splash into the pool.

For the next 45min CZ and I get tormented by them in the water. NOt only are we splashed but they come out of the pool and hug us therefore soaking us completely. Poor CZ actually finally got pulled in fully clothed. I stayed my distance but lost my dry buddy and hend to fend for myself.

Now, I resisted for about another 20 min after CZ got pulled in, documenting their inebriation and craziness until my mind started getting at me.

Now for those of you that don't know, my mantra is to "pluck that strawberry"...this my friends was a strawberry just waiting to be plucked.

I continued to resist as my mind was telling me... "you know people here - you are going to have to come back here, do not make a fool out of yourself - you also have SPongeBob underwear on- not so hot"

Finally I shut my mind up listened to the girls and succumb. They pulled me in, relcutantly, for the most part, and i had no choice but to strip down to the undergarments. Not to mention these 3 lushes were whining about how the batender wouldn't give them free drinks unless i got in.

Soo there i was, in this pool in a hotel bar that I frequent every Wednesday, in my bra and SpongeBob boyshorts that didn't do a very good job of covering my ass.

And then shit hit the fan. NOw I may have been in the pool, but I was still the responsbilne one. (don't judge me by my spelling right now tho)

ChareBhare, who I have only met once, as she is CZ's friend, began to practically molest the only 2 dudes in the pool until she fell asleep. yes thats right, fell asleep.

Now, me being the responsible one, had to get her ass out of the pool lest she drown. And so i did. Aside from her, handling CZ and PV who could still stanmd up though heavily swaying, but completely inebriated was way too much for me so i go the hotel staff to help me out. I was able to get these girls all back into their clothes, feed CZ and ChareBHare an orange, assist PV in a drunken phonecall, and get their 3 asses into a cab right before the cops that were standing outside were about to arrest them.

Phew!

Poor CZ got stuck..she had no choice to go with them even though her ass wanted to go back to Long Island. I refused to let PV go out to Murray Hill and imbibe any more drinks so I made it so they had to take care of ChareBhare. I hope you don't find this rude of me by abandoning them, because i didn't. BUt, these girls can get a lil bit out of control sometimes and somebody has to regulate without having to lose sleep. Plus I trust CZ even under the influence to keep her shit together.

Of course, right after i got them into the cab i got harrassed by he hotel staff that were taking bets on me getting in the pool as they called me "SpongeBob" while walking away. They thought that was funny. I thought that was funny. whatever. so out of my character but still so in it.

SPecifically, my boys at the hotel said "see you next week SpongeBOb and try to keep your girls sober enough to go out before they pass out at 11."

Good thing I'm leaving the coutnry for a couple cause i need to maintain my chill factor at the Hotel. Afterall...that is my only QT time.



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