welcomed distraction

2004-11-20 @ 1:31a.m.

Today it really felt like fall. I walked outside, exhausted from a weeks worth of activities only to be rejuvenated by the smell of freshly fallen leaves. The air was still and light, the sun peeked out behind and above the tall buildings to reflect upon each window and hit the street in a softly bright manner. This week it's just looked so hopeful on the streets of NYC.

I went from a winter wonderland for the most exorbitant, amazing movie premiere in Radio City Hall with after party in a snowy Central Park on Monday, to drama with my man's yet again lack of appreciation for me and what I do for him on Tuesday, to a fabulously French cozy celebration reminiscent of Sans Sanz in Paris on Wednesday, to a chill conversation over comfort food in a fireplaced diner on Thursday. Regardless of my lack of sleep, the morning, the smell, the sun, all created an overwhelming calm to surround me today.

When I got to work this morning I had no choice but to work. This past week's distraction wasn't there to take my attention away and still I was only semi-productive. We had yet another celebration today and I ate yet another plate full of sugar. I've eaten way too much sweets this week, so much so that I don't want anything even remotely sweet for a while.

Then I got restless and introspective. Maybe its because I knew at the end of the day I didn't have an excuse to leave my house. Maybe its cause my co-worker who's my girl is moving back to Cali and it was her last day today. Maybe its cause I was in a sugar induced coma, I'm not quite sure.

To add distraction from my own thoughts, I went to lunch with my boy R who continuously makes attempts to try and figure me out. He proceeded to show me a new big ass tattoo that he got last night that extends from his ass down to his knee. That shit was CRAZY! I wish I could get a tattoo. I know what I would get, the layers of meaning and extensive thought put into it is so deep, so personal. But, as the people closest to me know, I have an issue with such permanence. I don't even have my ears pierced for this reason and I decided long ago that I like the fact that, in many respects, I'm a clean slate.

Anyways, R and I had as cool as a conversation as one could have with him considering he was laced with vicatins and oxycotins for his self-inflicted pain from the inking. He ended the conversation with "you are so backwards" and a confused smile on his face.

I thought about that when I got back to my desk.

Then my boy V who pissed me off earlier on in the week enticed me to hang out tonight by offering to take me shoe shopping, a long unfulfilled promise from him...as always his goofy ass lifted my mood, we went downtown and shopped, got some banging ass rice puddin, grabbed some great hole in the wall mexican, and then ended up in a tattoo shop on the lower east side.

He wanted my opinion on how to finish his sleeve and as we were browsing the portfolios of the different artists I saw a piece I recognized. It was R. It was the big ass awesome Jesus that R had got done on his back in the Spring. At that moment I got a text from R, it read "you are so backwards.it drives me crazy." This wierded me out. I'm not quite sure what he meant by me being backwards but the coincidences of the evening were enough to bug me out. I didn't bother texting him back.

I guess I am a little backwards. I don't really like to follow the flow but it's also not something I consciously intend, it just sort of always happens that way. I don't know how to make plans, I'm down for whatever, I get wrapped up in the passion of the moment and don't really weigh in the consequence. I was talking to my girl bygeorge today and she reminded me that "with such heartfelt passion comes drama." It's so annoying it has to be that way, but alas it is.

So, and I digress in my whole flow of my days events to say, imagine my complete stumpedness, surprise, etc. of encountering someone so unbelivably similar to myself in terms of life perspective. It's wierd and complementary and fabulous and scary all at the same time.

When you have...ok R just called me mid-type and when I asked what the backwards comment meant he said "that's for me to know and you to figure out." oh how i do love a challenge. this is all too wierd.

I'm very distracted at the moment by this whole NBA fiasco that went down tonight and is now all over TV. All I gots to say is that some fans are about to be PIZAID! What's too bad is that this will probably change the way fans get to watch a game, and my fantasy basketball stats if my players get suspended. But, overall the saddest thing is the poor kids in the stands, some of which were kids of the players, that were brought to tears by such display of manly pride and aggression...sigh, such lack of control.

Anyways, my train of thought was interrupted, needless to say I'm excited about all the new discoveries to be uncovered. Maybe that's just it, maybe i'm just a curious person. Could that be why I am so in love with archaeology? The idea of digging into the past to uncover secrets that could reveal patterns for the future? The love of diggin into people's thoughts? challenge and push their thresholds? steal a strangers fries? digging to reach the no holds-barred core?

ok that's a tangent i will have to expand upon...but for now I must sleep, something i haven't done at all this week, but for good reason.

p.s. i think my man is so funny for trying to be all nice cause he knows i've been going out and he f*cked up and will probably make an even stronger effort ths weekend, i will sit back and see what happens. i'm looking forward to some quality time that I don't have to intiate.

oh wait, one more thing, i must wish my fellow taurus a happy half-birthday!!!!! a celebration well-deserved, party on girl!!!!!



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