random thoughts

2004-11-15 @ 2:15 p.m.

So in my long arduous journey back to NYC in which my car was packed with my loud ass boy JW, my girl P, her little dog, and my quiet ass uncomfrotably tall man squeezed into the fronts sear who didn't say a damn thing the entire trip cause he was so blown so many people were in the car, i got to thinking to some things...and since i can't do shit at work right now, i will jot them down...

1. While listening to the new Eminem joint I have decided that part of the reason why I love it so much is cause listening to a song of his is like reading someone's page in dland. I know people may disagree with me, in fact i had a whole debate in the car with JW about Em. JW says that the reason EM was so good was cause he filled a niche in a time in music that is now saturated...that he doesn't have shit else to say anymore. I disagree. Yes, Em services an area in music that not too many MCs touch succcessfully. But, Em keeps it real, he talks about shit relative to the moment and to his life. You sense the sincerity, sincerity that is lacking in a lot of mainstream artists for me these days. People said the same shit about South Park, that South Park was so great cause it broke a mold and crossed a threshold in programming that was taboo and made it funny, but now that shit has gone there and back and that there is no more South Park can do, in yet it just had one of its biggest years yet! I think as long as you keep shit true to form, true to yourself, don't try to imitate then you are still filling a niche that is to often shrouded with a thin layer of deceiving reality.

2. I don't care how angry you are! If you are arguing with someone that you respect don't bring it to a shitty level just to make yourself feel good. Its some bullshit. I will never, no matter how much shit i know about you and how pissed i am at you, i will NEVER come out my mouth with some hurtful ass shit just to hurt you. You pull one card then the whole deck comes flying out and then you feel ridiculous when you got to go and pick each one up and put it all back in order. Cause no matter how much in retrospect you wish you could "take it back" cause you "said it out of anger" as my 10th grade crazy English teacher Mr. Gilbert said, "to every hateful comment, every intended joke, there is truth." So you know what, I won't believe you when you say you "didn't mean it" cause for you to even come up with it and have the NERVE to say it you, to breathe life into a bunch of words, you had to mean it in some form or another. I forget sometimes that being as nice as I really try to be it really is a rarity these days...just goes back to my whole acknowledgement of the lack of regard for others these days.

3. If you get shady when a new girl/guy is in your life maybe we really aren't that great of friends as you think we are. Granted I am guilty of being shady about my dealings with dudes at times to my other dudes but I also don't try to pretend that we have this great baseline honest 'friendship.' I acknowledge the attraction in addition to the friendship and the discomfort when some new person is getting attention and not try to avoid it.

4. I saw 3 shooting stars last night in the darkness of the NJ turnpike. Well, maybe 2 of them were falling stars cause the trajectory was more downward than upward but still thats somethin, eh? Being a Taurus as well, I'm feelin my girl c-ker...perhaps this bodes well?

5. Saw a bunch of random folks this weekend at a mini-GWU reunion in honor of our girl's bday. It was cool, it's funny how different some people i know are. I love it! My boy still owes me $50 from a bag of herb in 2000 and damned if I didn't throw that in his face as soon as i saw him for the first time in 2 1/2 yrs....all out of love of course. I really love the people i know. I really do.

6. I can't stand firestarters...you know those people that get all freaked out over the dumbest littlest things. Just chill please, some things just are not worth it. And to be quite honest, I do now want your stress to stress me out.

7. I love my family, each and every crazy one. I take so much pride in them. They are one of my biggest priorities. My mom went to the Black Eyed Peas concert with her friend last night. She is so funny. I love that growing up we were the house that all me and my brothers friends wanted to hang out in. I hope when I start a family that's how it will be. I want to be the cool mom with the house all my kids friends want to kick it in.

8. Today is such a beautiful day. It just looks hopeful the way that the sun is beaming down into Times Square and bouncing off of each mirrored window.I started this entry before I went to lunch to be a greedy gangsta and my system is STILL DOWN. Guess I am forced to finish my "self-assessment." Just got offered ticket to a movie premiere tonight, red carpet, after party in a tent in central park. I think I just may go!

Ok i'm done spewing this randomness out of pure boredom. This is now starting to bore me...my apologies.

PS its hot as HELL in my office right now.

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