Ying and Yang dating

2004-11-09 @ 7:53 p.m.

Wow. So it's all about the ying and yang in life.

When one thing or person is acting right another is not so much. So, it wasn't too long ago that my man started acting a fool. Rude, insensitive, unappreciative, unemotional, etc. This was all around the time that I was having issues with my thyroid and I went mentally unstable for a second with worry and my man just didn't get it. Now I'm ok which is great, but I digress.

In that period of stress with my man my ol' boy K popped up. Perfect timing actually. When they say misery loves company its not always so much that misery wants to make more misery but maybe that misery needs to be taken out on a date!

So for the first time in the 4 some odd years that I've known K we actually went on a date. And it was amazing and confusing. I ended up spending more and more time with him, he continued to say more and more wonderfully emotionally open things to me and I began to fall more and more into a state of confusion.

I thought I was cool... my man acted up so much that I had to break away. It was the straw. I was feeling the excitement of possibility with K and the feeling of hurt and disgust with my man. I was strong. I called my man, we talked, we argued, we cried. I ended it with "I'm not ending a 5 year relationship over the phone so when you decide you want to be a man and step up and speak to me in person with respect then we can talk." That was it. I cried my eyes out, my brother consoled me.

Then at 2am that muthatf*cked shows up, crawls into bed with me and holds me.

Why is it so hard for yall men to understand that 9 times out of 10 thats all a woman needs to calm her the f*ck down.

Why does it take hours of bullsh*t for y'all to finally realize, its NOT ABOUT YOU!

Anyways, now at that point my eyes were swole shut and I had exhausted any energy left to argue.

We slept.

He continued to avoid "the talk." He started to try and show with action what he could not express with words. So I told him that he pushed me out too far and if he wanted me back to where he was then he would have to pull me back becuase this time I wasn't going willingly.

Days passed, the intensity with K wore down as what happens when you put just a spark 300 miles between two people, and then here comes the ying/yang action...of course my man started to step up. I love my man dearly but he drives me crazy and he really drove me over the edge this time.

So this is how we began to "date." I met my man in DC this weekend and he took me on our "first date." As reluctant as I was at first he won me over by the end.

With the help from my mom, Meta, and my credit card I was looking pretty damn hot. He picked me up from my mom's as a guy on a "first" date is supposed to and we were off to the movies. We were running late and ended up seeing "I Heart Huckabees" which I loved. Anyone that likes to question the meaning of everything in life needs to see that movie as it was witty, well-written, and comical.

Then he took me to Mie n Yu a funky new little very NYC trendy but romantic restaurant in Georgetown, DC. We sat on couches covered in colorful pillows with a canopy secluding us from the rest of the place. It was nice.

Then, to my surprise, we went dancing. Now, I went dancing with K too and it was great but it's amazing how different it is to dance with someone you really love as opposed to someone you have sparks with. One just means so much more. It was great cause my man is wierd, he has these odd moments of shyness and odd moments of outright curious agression which is probably why I fell for him. I tend to love intellectually stimulating wierdos.

Anyways there was not one person dancing when we got there and I definitely did not expect him to be the leader but there he was pulling me onto the dance floor.

After we got the rest of the place up and dancing we met up with his boy and hung out for a while. I love his boy, we have the best conversations. With much urging to stay, he said goodnight to his boys and we left.

He got us a hotel room for the night (I know I know hotel on the first date!? but whatever *wink*) and lying on the bed was a pretty pink box with a black satin ribbon (one of my favorites!) Let me just say that shit was GREAT.

The next morning he surprised me even more when he told me to invite my mom and Meta to brunch and on top of that offered to fix Meta's hit and run inflicted car door. Seeing as how he is as unsociable as they come this was amazing to me.

We are back in NYC now and I am highly anticipating our second date. Especially since last night we got into a screaming argument and for the first time instead of egging it on he deaded it. He apologized for being an asshole. Umm can I tell you that I was in such shock thinking 'oh right so much for one nice night, here we are back again' that when he acted like a MAN and listened to me and apologized I didn't know what the hell to do with myself.

So, for the first time in a long time I guess I am starting to see what the true meaning of "dating" really is. I'm enjoying it. I'm letting him come to me.

It is interesting though, when driving down to DC I was expecting to be chilling with K for the majority of my time there, but he was being Mr. Shady. Why it always has to be that ying/yang, yo-yo thang I'm not quite sure but I'm enjoying just kicking back not having to plan a damn thing.

Love rekindled? just maybe. I'm loving watching my man break a sweat on bringng those glowing embers back to full fledged flames and restore balance.

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