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I'm Comin Out
2004-07-28 @ 6:07 p.m. I have a headache. Think i will treat myself to a movie tonight. My man will be at home alone but whatever. He's blowing me. I love him and things have been great but hes blowing me but that could be largely in part to the fact that i'm seriously PMSing. Meanwhile I'm thinking about renting out my apt during the week of the Republican National Convention here in NYC. People are renting their shit out for crazy ridiculous prices like $2G's to $10G's for 1-2 br. just for ONE WEEK! Being that I live in Midtown I bet i could swing enough $$ to last me for Sept. rent. Hmmmm something to think about just gotta make sure my bro is ok with it. Gotta talk to the powers that be here at work tomorrow. Apparently my unhappiness has been duly noted and they are concerned that I will bounce outta here like my manager just tried to do. They are shook so much that they want to create an opportunity within the dept.that i am happy with and excited about because im such a "creative, innovative asset". Then why do i feel like the stepchild?? we will see what comes of the discussion tomorrow. I think its real funny that they say that the reason why i'm not up for promotion is cause i'm not vocal, yet my clients seem to think so. I know it has to do with my age too cause i was told when i was hired that i'd be the last one hired straight outta college. And that "A, you're only 23 you have plenty of time." Puhlease I've been the youngest at everything my entire life and always seemed to excel, doesn't that say something? I was told by my boss that I should repeat what she says just so I can speak in meetings that I should crack a joke, ask a question. Come on now...what am i? an idiot? My biggest pet peeve is grown ass people who sit in meetings and talk and talk saying the same shit over and over again and we end up in the same place without resolution 3 hours later. Without provoking the following answer i asked our biggest client what they thought of my performance on their account and my presence in meetings, and she had to say this: "A, I think you know your shit, you know the business, the strategies, you know what you're talking about. And, to be quite honest with you i think its quite refreshing to have someone that actually listens in a meeting because when you do speak you drop that golden nugget on the table...too many people in this industry like to talk to hear themselves talk and then cause the meetings to run overtime, you get straight to the point. Not to mention the fact that I have to keep reminding myself of how damn young you are." That felt good to hear...at least someone sees it. I am fully grateful for my position in this place. But this comfortable stability will suck you in a second. I need to keep my mind fresh, I need a challenge that I can apply myself to professionally. Not to mention there a lot of people who are haters especially when you start as an intern and have seemed to work your way up quicker than people who've been doing your same job for 5 yrs. I mean I'm honored that they want to keep me here but on what basis...don't get me wrong this job was a true blessing...let's see what unfolds tomorrow morning... theme song: "can't nobody hold me down...i gots to keep on moving..." |
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