really random thoughts

2003-02-27 @ 4:19 p.m.

--conducting business in a bathroom stall as you and the other are both peeing seems just a bit awkward to me...friends ok...co-workers? odd.

--NY mayor wants to cut education budget so that kids will be double in elementary schools and completely eliminating "Pre-K"....yeah thats reaaaaal smart, actually quite disconcerting and angering. how does that mak ANY sense? whatever i choose not to speak fully on this right now cause it PISSES me off.

--Bad rap for rap...so i work in times square where MTV was hosting the first annual MC Battle to kick off Hip-Hop week. Great idea right? Yeah until 2,000 more people showed than expected and rioted and fired shots when NYPD made us shutdown the event. absolute mayhem and quite sad. i am convinced that there was true talent out there. such a shame. now we probably can't do something like this again and all the conservative straight assed politicians out there (the same kind that think its smart to cut education $$) are reaffirming their beliefs that hip-hop music plants nothing but bad seeds. but, i guess unless the hp-hop community gives them something positive to think then these type of news coverage riotous events thats all they can base their judgmental clos-minded opinions on. too bad.

--so this guy that i havent talked to since like sophomore year of college is IMing me out of nowhere speaking of things that happened between us freshman year and how he wishes i could see the "changed" him now. changed...suuuuure. how can i believe he has changed when the first time he makes contact with me in this long is for some ass? yeah i'm going to fall for that one.

--mr. rogers passed away today. very sad. another piece of my childhood gone. he was one of those guys you think would live forever to teach young children. i loved him. they say his token cardigans will be on display at the Smithsonian in DC. interesting. how i wish i could return to being a child.

--i am in a rather displaced mood today hopping all over the place. maybe im getting delirious due to the lack of heat in my office in fact my fingers truly feel like icicles paining me to move them in any other position then just he typing stance. i know i haven't updated in a while, partially becaus ei have been swamped in the office with meeting after meeting, how im supposed to do any work in the whole 20min. of desk time i have been able to create for myself in the past few days? i do't know. Meta told me that we are too young for this. and i believe that this kind of thing can't be suitable for any age. at the young age of 21 i am already feeling my wrists aching from some sort of carpal tunnel thing. now thats sad. oh well, i cant really complain.

--so since friday (since i've had the place free of my brother for the first time in a while) i have laid out all the photos with me that i have brought to NY to attempt to finish a half-started scrapbook that was given to me by Meta like 3 years ago. Alas, to no avail I have accomplished nothing if that makes sense. I do the same thing every night. I look through every bunch of pictures every night when i get home from work and lay them all over the coffee table in a very haphazard manner....and thats about it. i just sit and stare at them all laid out. there is something about permanence that is very unsettling for me.always has been. like if i were to finally affix a picture could i ever remove it or change it without ever screwing up the flow of the whole rest of the album? because you know i need to make it the best chronological order as possible but i'm sooo bad at remembering dates thats why Meta tends to be my memory for collegiate dates and Bygeorge for my high school ones. why is this such a daunting task i ask? so difficult. one day it will get done just probably not before my brother gets back this weekend.

--i'm crazy right? yeah i know. i was watching Amelie for the first time last night until i started to pass out due to exhaustion. and i have decided that thus far i really like that movie, the story, the execution of the story, everything. those quirky things of Amelie and the other characters that share the screen with her remind me much of the random conversations and wierdoness of myself and meta as well as bygeorge's poems in how they analyze some very disconnected subjects at times. ok thats it for now. i have a lot bottled up that i will soon dispel.

i apologize if this was hard to follow.

"The past is a source of knowledge, and the future is a source of hope.

Love of the past implies faith in the future."

Stephen Ambrose (1936 - 2002), in Fast Company

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